A successful entrepreneur told me earlier this year, “Never look back. If you look back, all you see is that you were an idiot.” He sold one of his companies for $1 billion, so I took some comfort in his words.
That said, I do look back, and I yield much gratitude from reflecting upon my own idiocy, mistakes, and pain in the past year. I needed all of those, if for no other reason than to feel so hugely blessed for what came after.
Bad endings really are just opportunities for new beginnings, trite as it may sound. I found that out firsthand in the earlier part of 2009. The worst experiences can be preparation you didn’t know you needed to get ready for something better than you’ve ever had. I know how sickly Hallmark that is, but it’s true.
I think of 2009 as the year I got myself back. I learned what I don’t want - what I really, REALLY don’t want - and so was led to what I DO want. I may not have recognized it without having suffered the consequences of my idiocy.
So 2009 has been, by far, the best year of my life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. This was the year I got my first apartment in New York (which I still have, though time to be there has been in short supply lately). It was the year I left a job and company I love in the hopes of even bigger challenges. And it was the year I found more love than I imagined was available to me. (There’s a lot to say about that, but this was also the year I opted to share much less of my personal life with strangers.)
As for resolutions, I don’t do them on an annual basis. I set many new rules for my daily life throughout 2009 (no sugar, no flour, no mixing with posers), all of which have made me happier. I renew them on a day-to-day basis. The long term view of “I’m going to do [X] forever” just doesn’t work for me. Deciding every time I’m faced with the choice, however, means that soon the alternative to living well simply isn’t an option.
All of which is a rather longwinded way of saying, to whomever is listening: Thank you. I never thought I’d have it this good. I hope everyone reading this - even if you think I don’t care for you (and even if I truly don’t) - gets to experience growth, joy, and abundant love in 2010. Bonus: Everyone around you will be much happier if you do.
Filed under: Life