Jackie Danicki

While we disagree on some key things, my Advice Goddess friend Amy Alkon’s blog is so full of good stuff that, come the weekend, I end up with a Newsgator clippings file full of her posts. (Coffee for Morons, Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish, and You Just Can’t Give the Money Away! are my recent favourites from her.) And, although Amy doesn’t know it, she is a frequent topic of conversation around here of late.

Here’s why.

I have just about reached my tolerance limit of certain behaviour that, while it can be done considerately in public places, seems never to be accompanied by any manners these days. I’m talking about people who smoke in public and are incredibly rude in how they do it. I have never been a smoker, but I believe fiercely that people should be allowed to smoke without the government sticking their noses into it. Yes, that means public places, too. I know full well, going into a pub and certain restaurants, that I’m going to be around smoke. I choose to go in or not, and that is as it should be. (Those working in such establishments also have a choice, as all individuals do, no matter what anyone tries to tell you.) While I would love never to encounter smoke in the street, train stations, or other open spaces, and while I am sick of stinking of other peoples’ smoke and having a burning throat from their insistence on inflicting it on me, I would hate for those changes to be brought about by a meddling, intrusive government. Anyone who thinks we need the rule of law in order to change or influence human behaviour needs to show me the legislation that forced us to eat with knives and forks.

Amy believes in individuals bringing about positive changes in how other people conduct themselves. One of her big issues is her hatred for SUVs and her irritation (to put it mildly) with those who drive them. I don’t wish to speak for Amy, but I think she’s fine with those who really do take them off-road and drive them (unless they have children, due to rollover statistics). It’s those who clog up urban streets and air with their output that drive her crazy.

To that end, she’s on a one-woman anti-SUV crusade, reaching those she can through very straightforward cards that she leaves on their windshields. Her latest ones read:

How many dead Marines did it take to gas up your SUV? Stylish, aren’t you?

Amy leaves her email address or phone number on these cards and, as you can imagine, the responses from the SUV owners are lame and amusing.

While SUVs are only mildly annoying to me, I think I have reached the end of my tether with people who smoke in public in a way that proves they have no consideration for those around them. On a daily basis, I encounter someone who lights up while sat between two or three non-smokers at a bus stop, blows smoke in the direction of those standing down wind from them, or is otherwise rude in their smoking. One day last week, I was walking up Shaftesbury Avenue towards my office when a man walking in front of me flicked hot ash behind him - and straight at me. I didn’t say anything, but now wish that I had.

And I think that, from now on, I am going to say something. I have always resisted such confrontations with people, strangers or otherwise, partly because I hate to live up to the stereotype of the stroppy Yank. But really, I could not care less if those with such cretinous behaviour think poorly of me.

My only remaining reservation is that embracing negativity is not my thing, and I am not the sort of person who can have an unfriendly confrontation with someone, instantly forget about it, and move on with a smile on my face. This is probably the biggest reason I have for not ever saying anything to these jerks.

That said, I feel I have a duty to show these people that they are the reason nanny staters want to bar them from being allowed to smoke in public at all. The responsibility I feel is not to the smokers, but to myself and my children and their children, for whom I want a world free of state intervention in the personal lives of individuals, and a world where people are not so unabashedly rude to one another.

So I think I may go down the Amy Alkon card route. Of course, handing someone a card that they may find patronising and nosey at best, and insulting and offensive at worst, is inviting a lot more involvement than merely sticking a card on someone’s windshield. But I really do not know what else to do, other than start a blog encouraging considerate public smoking (when in doubt, blog?). As she’s an advice columnist and a friend, I may just go ask Amy.

Filed under: Life