Another nice problem to have, all things considered
I complained to Adriana a few months ago of feeling rootless, as if there is nowhere in the world where my presence is required. What’s a home? Adriana told me, gently and with great understanding, that this is a price to be paid for living with the degree of freedom and autonomy I have worked hard to carve out for myself. She is right, of course, but it still hurts.
I remain in a mindset where America is rather foreign to me after all these years. I had an incident in the supermarket a few weeks ago that really drove this home: I had no idea that, in order to get the sale price on ALL items marked “on sale,” I had to have a special card. As in, you’re paying full price for everything in the store unless you’ve got that card. I’d never encountered such a (horrible) system. The cashier looked at me like I was an alien. I felt a lot like one, too.
Being back in London right now is wonderful. I understand how things operate here (even if they don’t always work). Everything is familiar. I know where I’m going and the quickest way to get there. To bring back the supermarket theme, standing in the cheese section at Waitrose yesterday felt like the most natural thing in the world. I had a strong sense of being at home. (Don’t worry, I already thought of all the cow-related insults that could be derived from this.)
I find myself thinking, “Do I really have to stay away forever?” No: I’ll come back after the revolution, provided I’ve got enough money to avoid the worst parts of London life. Since I’m not expecting a revolution in my lifetime, I guess that means I’m not coming back to live.
But I’ve decided that, after this trip, I’m not going to visit London for a few months. It’s a hellish commute and, frankly, I’m a little tired of the ‘security theater‘ aspect. There are other considerations, but those two would be reason enough.
So this visit is turning into a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me. I’ve extended it a little longer, because ripping off the Band-Aid quickly has never been my style. If you’re in London and we haven’t seen one another in a while, catch me while you can. I’m in Chelsea until the 22nd.
Filed under: Life
Oh how much I know what you mean. Oww.
Eventually, things will change over there too and you’ll be more up to date with the ones over here. Not that that is necessarily a comforting thought. It just happens on its own over time.
To me, the difference between the UK and the US is far vaster than that between the UK and every other European country I’ve ever been to, ie. much more massive than one might think.
Heck, I’ve never lived outside of the States, and that drives me batty at Safeway - one of the reasons I almost never shop there.
Alice, what’s strange is that I don’t really want to lose the UK as the place I think of as home. I don’t want to live here, but I don’t want to give up what it means to me. I feel no such attachment to the US. None.
Sigivald, this was in Kroger, which I will now studiously avoid as much as possible. They should be free to have such a customer-hostile business; I just choose not to give them any of my money from now on.
Every time I’ve shopped at a store where I don’t hold a member’s card, the clerk has swiped their own - I get the savings, the clerk racks up points (which usually gets some kind of rewards). I was in greater Buffalo on vacation and the store clerk there did it, too.