Dress codes in Cincinnati
Three notes on 5chw4r7z’s post about our spur-of-the-moment, delightful outing at Olives in Clifton:
1) I ordered a slice of pumpkin torte, not carrot cake (though it looked and tasted a lot like carrot cake).
2) I write for a food blog, hence my response to the waiter that yes, we were food critics “of a sort”. But the fact is, with blogs, every customer is a potential food critic. We should all be treated as such.
3) He says that we were dressed casually, which reminded me of something that’s been bugging me for a while:
People of Cincinnati, there is a difference between dressing casually and dressing as if you just rolled out of your bed…which is located in your barn.
On Saturday night, I had on nice jeans, high heeled boots, a polo neck, cardigan, and scarf (yes, I was freezing). Bob had on nice jeans and a shirt with a collar, no tie (sometimes he wears one out, something of which all the women always approve highly and all the guys admire, even if with a small degree of envy that he can pull off that look so easily). That’s casual dress.
I’m often appalled at how some people - not a lot, but some - show up to really nice places looking like utter slobs. We went to Nada a few weeks back (1hr 45min wait for a table, so we left and vowed to make reservations next time) and some guy walked out of there looking more fit for the stands at a monster truck rally than for an evening of fine dining at one of the city’s hottest restaurants. I wanted to inject shame right into his veins.
Being me, I think the answer to this problem is gentle but firm societal pressure, not laws. But societal pressure does include private businesses - such as Nada and other restaurants - turning away customers who do not meet a dress code defined by the business owner.
Nada in particular is so popular that getting a table can be an absolute nightmare, so it’s not as if they need to cater to overgrown ragamuffins. I’m sure I’m not their only customer who would appreciate not having to eat next to some guy who couldn’t be bothered to pick the cat hair off his sweatshirt before venturing out.
Is it too much to ask for some standards to be observed?
Filed under: Life
Quite right.
I saw some people shopping in their pajama bottoms the other day. Literally- tartan cotton pull-on trousers. But it was the thrift store! If it had been the opera, I would have been extremely annoyed.
Oh, don’t even get me started on people wearing pajamas in public. I hate how teenagers and college students especially are indugled in this. It’s doing them no favors at all in terms of preparation for adult life. (My shrink, who teaches graduate students, says he would kick students out of his class if they rolled up in PJs. Can’t say I disagree with him.)
Men have genetic slovenliness, women seem to plan it. The pajama and ugg boots phenomena is my exhibit one.
For teens it ultimately comes down to parenting. My wife sees teenage girls out and about wearing clothes that are obviously the 3 sizes too small or looking like they rolled out of bed and simply says “my mother would have locked me in the house if I tried to go out like that”. Her mother also sent her to etiquette school in Boston to learn how to walk, talk, dress, and carry one’s self in various social situations… although she did marry me so perhaps not all of those lessons took :wink:
When teenagers become 20-30’somethings they have little practical experience to draw from, or positive role models. Interestingly, I think people who are in their 40’s are also to blame as this generation has been seduced by the notion that youth is a attained through the accoutrements of youth, i.e. clothes and language, and not through a youthful perspective on life.
Specific to women, I am really troubled by 45+ mothers of teenage girls who seem to be in competition with women half their age for who is sexier. This is, I believe, confusing to their young girls ans sets a very negative role model at a time when young girls need positive role models more than anything else. This may explain why so many 12 year olds are dressing like skanks these days.
As for me, I’ve gone the other way. During this last holiday season I looked for every opportunity to wear my tuxedo, going sans tie (no bow-tie, a nice Zegna formal tie). I also decided to upgrade my general wardrobe to replace things that were more trendy with upscale classic, not so many jeans, more corduroy in the winter and linens and wool blends for the summer. Lot’s of cashmere in winter, cottons, knits and linens in summer. Shoes… I’ve always been somewhat of a shoe hound but I did go classic here as well with nice dress oxfords for business and various business casual styles for the rest, with one indulgence being several pairs of crocodile shoes (Cole-Haan has amazing crocs with Nike Air technology, they feel like slippers). Finally, it’s accessories that make the difference, pocket squares, cuff links, nice belts (again, alligator is universally the best), and a lot of high quality socks.
Jeff, you are SO on the right track, on all fronts! Love the sound of your wardrobe. One of my favorite things about Antoine is that he owned not one but two tuxedos, as well as a lot of good classic pieces (navy Burberry raincoat, Aquascutum jackets, etc). Nothing is better than the classics.
As for older women competing with teenage girls, I’m reminded of Nigella Lawson relating the story of the first time she was with her mother and it was clear that the wolfwhistles were for her, not her mum. Her mother didn’t speak to her for days. I’m quite interested in the dynamics at work here, and how women who have always believed their looks were their best assets then cope when those assets fade or are damaged.
Jeff describes the wardrobe of my ideal man.
I often feel inexplicably sad when I see college and teenage girls looking slovenly. I think it’s because I then imagine them making bad life choices because of low self-esteem, when it is amazing what a boost you get just from presenting yourself well in public.
Although it is hilarious when my neighbor weed whacks in his elastic-ankle plaid pajama bottoms.
I’m struck by how often people will comment that a handsome older woman must have been stunning when younger. It’s a shame that that should be the first reaction.
Inappropriate dressing really bugs me too.
I’m already appalled by the clothes starting to be offered for Kitty’s age group - she’s 6.5 months now, and just coming out of babygros and all-in-one suit things, which I love. We’re already moving into the realms of “far too adult” clothes. I spent a good couple of evenings at home at Christmas rooting through my mum’s stash of Simplicity sewing patterns and old knitting patterns which she made for me in the 70s - although I seem to recall we did wear dresses mighty short then, which again may not be too appropriate in these less innocent days.
You should probably avoid Vancouver, then. People here go to really nice restaurants in fleece jackets (!) and t-shirts. *shudders*
All the more reason why we should go out more, and further proof that you’d really like Mrs. NBS, if we were to ever get the schedules right.
Jackie,
I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I realized that you were going in exactly the opposite direction as I had thought you were. It was not so long ago, maybe ten to fifteen years, when you decision to pair denim with any of the articles mentioned would have brought raised eyebrows, stirs, or worse at the places you mentioned. In fact, I can think of plenty of places off the top of my head where it would still. Overall, I agree with your thoughts on modern dress.
As for the slovenly Nada diner, don’t rule out Dave’s brothers. Having not witnessed it, they would jump to mind as likely offenders.