Flush with love, fear, and a little regret
Parc Richelieu, Calais
Originally uploaded by dynamist.
I feel like I’m visiting an ex-love and experiencing a confusing rush of emotions which makes me think, “What if…?” London has been particularly beautiful the last two days (although the photo above was taken in France at the weekend), with perfect, sunny, gloriously bearable weather. I’m seeing the city at its best, and it’s making its worst fade in my memory.
The truth is, I love London and always will. It has played a meaningful role in my life since before I first set foot here. The lure of London came to me when I was four years old, and I don’t think I will ever stop feeling great affection for this place. That doesn’t mean, though, that my future is here.
This whole business of making the transition to the US is difficult, and more so because everyone has an opinion on whether or not we are going about things the right way. (This isn’t just a result of blogging about it: I spent yesterday with an old friend who does not read this blog, but who told me many times over the course of seven hours that I needed to reverse this move to Cincinnati.) I appreciate the concern of the well-intentioned, but I am not the sort of person, yet, who can take those views and not translate them into more sleepless nights.
I am here until next Tuesday, and while part of me hopes that this sunshine and warmth holds out, I’m also wishing for some of that typical gloom and rain to send me off. The incongruity of weather and moods is disturbing me more than ever.
Filed under: Life
I find that Brits can be somewhat defensive about having their country rejected, especially for the big bad America of Evil. The weird immigration anomaly that makes it harder for them to emigrate to the US than anyone else can’t help much.
And yes, there is much that is wonderful and beautiful over there- it’s like Fairyland!- but also so much that is stressful and difficult. Most Brits seem to regard it as escapist to avoid stress, but some of us feel the need to leave just to get a life!
Do what you want and believe in, but please don’t feel obliged to listen to unwanted criticism if you don’t want to. If a friend of mine behaved that way, I would ask them to stop (personal choice- not saying you should do the same). Unfortunately, as I’m sure you know well, whenever we make courageous choices there are friends/ family members who consider it their duty to try and stop us.
Noooo, we want the sunshine! It’s been bad enough in the last three weeks, so please don’t take the spell of good weather aways from us ;-)
Alice, thank you very much for that. This friend really did mean well, and I couldn’t help but listen to his reasoning and take it to heart. I spoke to Antoine about it and that seemed to help clarify things in my mind, for now.
As for the immigration anomaly, I’m told we have Ted Kennedy and his anti-Englishness to thank for that.
I feel much the same way. I’m an American expat who’s been living in Japan for the last 4 years (Tokyo for the past 3). I’m moving to Montreal in the fall, and probably from there to somewhere in the US. It seems practical but I do not know if I am ready for it yet.
I feel much the same way. I’m an American expat who’s been living in Japan for the last 4 years (Tokyo for the past 3). I’m moving to Montreal in the fall, and probably from there to somewhere in the US. It seems practical but I do not know if I am ready for it yet.