Jackie Danicki

I was talking to my best friend Karri today about what happened after that video - the one I’ve watched at least 20 times now, and which makes me cry every time. (Quick rundown of details: Karri’s husband arranged the surprise visit with Kelly months ago, her parents knew all about it, and Karri says what you can’t see on the video is that she bawled for a straight minute. Which is usually what I do EVERY TIME I see Karri or say goodbye to her, even though it’s never a surprise. Hah!)

I wanted to know how the entire four-day visit had gone, and Karri mentioned that one of the days was really stormy and ugly.

KARRI: We went out for breakfast without even taking showers. Then we came home and hung out, and ended up not taking showers at all that day.

ME: Aw. I love not bathing with you, too!

Karri’s mother was in the vicinity for that comment and found it amusing, but it’s true. I’m a two-shower-a-day girl since I exercise every evening, but there is nothing like vegging out with someone you love and doing not much of anything. Karri and I always try to allot at least one day of any visit for this specific brand of sloth. (I should add that, no matter what, the two of us always wear at least a little make-up when we go out, even if it’s just to the grocery store. As Hillary commented when she hung out with us in Ohio a few years ago, “Midwestern girls always make such an effort to look pretty, even if they’re only wearing shorts and a t-shirt.”)

Our conversation reminded me of a quotation I first picked up from Ben Casnocha, which has stayed with me (in mis-remembered, I-got-the-gist-of-it variety) ever since. It’s from the wonderful economist, author, and all-around interesting thinker Tyler Cowen, who writes:

The quest for continual high-quality excitement is not conducive to casual down time together, which is the glue which binds relationships together in the longer run.

I know the truth of that more today than I did a year ago, and suspect my agreement with Cowen’s statement will only grow stronger as I age. When I think of what I miss of specific people (Karri is but one), it is that quietly thrilling mundaneness. If you can feel content doing absolutely nothing with someone, you might want to hang onto them.

Proof that we do normally bathe! Me, Kelly, and Karri, with our friend Katie hovering above, at Karri’s wedding rehearsal dinner in January 2007

Filed under: Life