• C'est moi

    VP of Marketing & Communications for Rackup, but nothing here reflects what my employer or colleagues think. In fact, they probably think it's all cray-cray.

    Jackie Danicki

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question of the day

Posted on August 7th, 2007 by Jackie Danicki

One of the reasons I wanted to leave the UK was because the high level of cynicism in British society was something I really embraced, much to my personal detriment. I’m not saying British culture should change, or that most others will be affected by the climate as negatively as I was. This is purely my problem to sort out.

Cynicism is kind of like chocolate for me: It can have its healthy benefits in moderation and used appropriately, but I have to ruin all that by going overboard and reaching for it for the wrong reasons.

I am still struggling with cynicism, even though I know full well how wallowing in it damages me and my ability to experience a more full, rich life.

So my question for others is: Are you a cynical person? Do you try to keep it in check? If so, how?

Okay, that’s three questions. Feel free to answer this one anonymously if you prefer.

Filed under: Life

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8 Responses to “question of the day”

  1. Byron, on August 8th, 2007 at 12:05 am Said:

    I think in addition to recovering from the drugs and the booze, I’m a recovering cynic also. I keep it out by getting disappointed, realizing my expectations got me there, trying to eliminate the expectations, succeeding to some minor degree, then repeating the process often.

    Believing in the inherent goodness of things and people, thereby not needing cynicism, is a tall order, but the thing to do for the long run. Something about the grouch and the brainstorm being the dubious luxury of normal [people].

    thanks for the thinking -byron

  2. Jackie Danicki, on August 8th, 2007 at 12:16 am Said:

    I don’t know about inherent goodness - truly, I don’t know - but practicing acceptance (that my disturbance is my problem, the problem is within me and not others or the world) would seem to be a good way of quashing inappropriate cynicism. Maybe I should try that.

  3. Amy Alkon, on August 8th, 2007 at 2:36 am Said:

    I’ve sometimes said about myself, “I’m not a cynic, just a disappointed optimist.”

  4. Athena, on August 8th, 2007 at 9:59 am Said:

    I’m not cynical and never really have been. Sure, I have my moments, but it’s never been a predominant way of looking at the world for me. I fall, by default, into the optimist camp and I’m not really sure why. Not the Pollyanna type of optimist, but a general, “Eh, it’s all going to be okay” sort of optimist.

    Hey Jackie - I saw a post over at Instapundit about people leaving Britain. It’s up to 4,000 a week. Ten years ago it was about 300 people a week.

    I wasn’t sure about urls in your comments so here’s the non-linked URL to the story: http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/15642/4,000-people-a-week-trying-to-leave-UK

  5. Alice Bachini-Smith, on August 8th, 2007 at 2:05 pm Said:

    I generally hate cynicism, and get accused of being a dozy idealistic fantasist. It drives me nuts when intelligent people use cynicism as almost a whole language/ way of connecting, which is one major reason why I can’t stand living in Britain anymore.

    But I do miss the kind of negativity that underlies the hysterically funny camp humour-games I grew up with. They were inspired by the fact that we all hated where we were so much (the 80s as well as England). Gallows humour, maybe. Nobody understands my jokes over here, anyway :)

  6. Mike, on August 8th, 2007 at 10:10 pm Said:

    There are certain things that breed cynicism in me, like politics and middle class tastes. But I could never be cynical about family or friends even if their politics and tastes are bad.

  7. Jackie Danicki, on August 8th, 2007 at 10:18 pm Said:

    Yeah, my cynicism is all about me.

    This was the topic (because I brought it up) at an AA meeting I went to today, and the responses blew me away. My big takeaways from that:

    1) When I direct my own thinking, I’m in big trouble.
    2) As ever, working with others takes me out of over-intellectualizing everything, which is what leads to a lot of my cynicism.
    3) What I think, feel, and believe matters much, much less than what I actually do. So I can be cynical all I want about how much - or indeed how - certain acts are really going to help me, as long as I don’t let that stop me from carrying them out. That’s when I get the rewards. (I know this to be true from experience.)
    4) I don’t know everything, and I don’t have to. (Emphasis on the first part of that sentence.)
    5) Humility is a cynicism killer. Get humble, get grateful.
    6) Cynicism is fear-based; living in fear is miserable.
    7) Strive to be teach-able, yearn to learn. In that spirit, cynicism may exist but cannot thrive.

    Much more than that came out of it, but those are my condensed highlights.

  8. Cobden Bright, on August 23rd, 2007 at 5:21 am Said:

    In my experience, only London and the south-east, and perhaps Wales, is dominated by cynicism. The north of England - places like Newcastle, York, Leeds, Liverpool, Manchester and so on - and much of Scotland is quite the opposite, being a pretty friendly and optimistic culture.

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