Jackie Danicki

Tonight I ended up at dinner with a group of six other people; the age range was about 30 (me) on up to 80 years old. At one point, I became so overwhelmed with gratitude for being there that I started to cry. The chicken paprikash was that good.

But seriously…

That kind of thing didn’t happen to me much until a few months ago. Now it happens all the time - though not often with the tearfulness.

It may be sheer coincidence that, since I started trying to make certain changes in myself, I am regularly handed wonderful gifts. Whether it’s an unexpected ride around town in a vintage convertible, finding an amazing new home, being invited to celebrate with a new friend the 29th anniversary of her sobriety, or a gesture of love from an unexpected source, these things are finding me every day now.

I don’t mean to suggest that nothing bad or annoying happens to me these days. If only! But my idea of what ‘bad’ is has adjusted drastically, and I am even able to laugh at a lot of things that used to drive me crazy - even myself. I know now that I can handle anything if I live my life a certain way. I may not understand completely how it works, but I’m letting go of the idea that I have to; my friend Nancy refers to this as doing things without handrails. The rewards are so huge, already, that I can scarcely believe it.

I was in a funk when I got back to Cincinnati from London a few weeks ago; I was sick, which always brings on depression in me, and I didn’t have the energy to be enthusiastic about much of anything. I had to put those heavily negative feelings aside and just keep doing the right things anyway (this is where routine pays huge dividends). After a few days - and with amazing encouragement from friends like Mary and Antoine - the fog lifted.

Things aren’t always that simple, but lately, they are that simple a lot more often than they are not. I couldn’t be more thankful, even for the upheaval.

That’s all.

Filed under: Life