What did you do on Fathers’ Day?

Robert & me

Originally uploaded by dynamist.

I attended the Ariel Avrech ZT’L Memorial Lecture at Young Israel of Century City. It was my first time in shul, and fortunately for me - a non-Jew in an Orthodox synagogue - I did not make any hideous faux pas (that anybody pointed out to me). I may technically be an outsider in their world, but I am always very warmly welcomed amongst the Avrechs and their Orthodox family, friends, and neighborhood.

The lecture, by Rabbi Dr. Gil S. Perl, was utterly gripping. The topic was What Was the Rosh Yeshiva Reading? Intellectual Openness in 19th Century Lithuania. Rabbi Dr. Perl was an energetic lecturer who had thoroughly researched his subject - he even went to Jerusalem to inspect the Rosh Yeshiva’s handwritten manuscripts. It was a talk that I am sure Ariel ZT’L would have appreciated very much.

As ever, it was just very special for me to be able to see Robert, Karen, and their daughters (and new granddaughter!). I am pretty good at containing my emotions, but as soon as I set eyes on Robert, I have to fight off the tears. Part of it is how much I wish Ariel ZT’L were still here with his family. I never knew Ariel and, indeed, only know his family because of the blog Robert started after Ariel’s death. Our friendship is part of what Robert refers to as the cruel calculus.

But part of it is that the Avrechs are the most healthy, loving, close-knit family I have ever been around, and Robert is the sort of father every person should be fortunate enough to have. His children are very blessed to have such a good dad and wonderful mother. Few people could observe this family for long before thinking that theirs is the atmosphere of encouragement, duty, and love that all children should be raised in. All of us should aspire to be parents like Robert and Karen.

So it was a lovely way to spend Fathers’ Day, watching one who so clearly loves and is devoted to his children. Robert told me afterward that for us to be friends rather than father and daughter is “much easier terrain to navigate”. So true. I’m as blessed as his children are, but in a different way.