Jackie Danicki

Two real “What would Cathy do?” moments from today:

I was supposed to go to gathering tonight where I knew I’d meet new people, but almost didn’t go, because I was feeling lots of things, but ready to socialize wasn’t one of them. Then I could hear Cathy saying, “That’s riDICulous!” She never minces words, and has no qualms about telling someone if she thinks they are saying something idiotic or nonsensical, and I knew she would absolutely fail to see why I should miss out on an opportunity to get more grounded here just because I was sad about her. So I went and, of course, was glad I did not miss out on the people I met as a result.

Then I came home and had to deal with an unpleasant person lobbing hysterical threats and insults at me because I’d edited one of her blog comments. My rule of thumb on this is that if someone says something that I find dodgy, and which I think will cause more fuss amongst readers and friends than it is worth, I will not publish the comment - unless the offensive bit can be removed without changing the comment’s meaning. My blog, my private property, my rules. This person is an acquaintance, and someone who previously acted oddly towards me (arranging a lunch date for a day and time when I had clearly said I was not available, then contacting me to “confirm” the date we’d never made, then acting huffy when I was baffled and said I could not make it), so I wasn’t very surprised to get the unhinged reaction I did. But the fact that this person’s opinion of me means nothing to me was briefly outweighed by the disgust I felt when she compared Cathy’s impending death to global warming - that is, no good reason for her to stop harassing me about her Very Important Blog Comment. I thought of all of the lunatics from whom Cathy receives hate mail, probably on a daily basis, and how unaffected she is by it, except to laugh at the pathetic nature of it all or maybe use it as grist for a column or blog post. (When I was at her house a few weeks ago, Cathy was telling me about how a certain person gets upset when she tells them to knock it off with offensive comments, and she mocked the way they cried, “Censorship!” Cathy is hilarious when she mocks people, so much so that I would actively encourage her to talk to me about all of the people who irritated her.) So I decided that if this person has delusions of relevance, well, there’s nothing I can do about it except laugh, even if she’s sick enough to belittle Cathy’s death like that. I do hope she gets help, though.

There’s one “What would Cathy do?” moment that I have a lot, which is when I feel too unwell, fed up, or tired to do something that needs to be done. Cathy’s work ethic was right up there with my grandfather’s (he missed only one day of work in 47 years at the steel mill, and was bed-ridden with the flu that day, but returned the next day). I mean, even this week, she managed to file a column! She’s been in varying levels of pain, discomfort, and nausea for several years now, and through it all has worked solidly and consistently, right up to the end.

I still can’t believe she’s really going.

Filed under: Friends, Life